


Five Times Dean and Sam Talk About Language

by storiesfortravellers



Category: Supernatural, Supernatural: The Other Side (Fan Film)
Genre: Brief Mentions of Harassment, Humor, Identity, Pop Culture, Sexism, adjustment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-15
Updated: 2013-06-15
Packaged: 2017-12-15 01:05:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/843515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesfortravellers/pseuds/storiesfortravellers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five Times Dean and Sam talk about language and why (sometimes) it matters. Humorfic with some serious subject matter. Takes place after the events of the fan film "The Other Side." </p><p>MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE SUPERNATURAL FAN FILM "The Other Side."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Times Dean and Sam Talk About Language

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Other Side](https://archiveofourown.org/works/838289) by [astolat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/astolat/pseuds/astolat), [counteragentfilms](https://archiveofourown.org/users/counteragentfilms/pseuds/counteragentfilms). 



> MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE SUPERNATURAL FAN FILM "The Other Side." 
> 
> This takes place after the events of the film when they are adjusting to being in women's bodies over several months.

“Christian Labootin is evil,” Dean stated as he stormed into the room and threw a red-soled shoe on the ground.

“It’s pronounced Louboutin. And how did you pay for those?” Sam said.

“Fake Christian Labootin is evil. And so is Vanilla Blahnik.”

“It’s not – you know what, just wear comfortable shoes, Dean,” Sam said, holding up his tan-sneakered foot.

Dean put a hand on his hip. “I am a hot girl and I am going to dress like a hot girl.”

“That’s a very retrograde attitude,” Sam pointed out.

Dean ignored him and ranted, “This is NOT what I imagined all those times I fantasized about being a hot girl. I thought their hair just naturally shone like that. And I thought it would be just picking up hot people to sleep with 24/7 and wrapping people around my little finger. And it’s not like that at all!!!”

“Wait, you fantasized about being a hot girl?”

“Shut up,” Dean said, as he held up the other shoe, shaking it in Sam’s face. “Look at these toes! Do you know how much these hurt after walking a mile?! Seriously, are anyone’s toes shaped like this! ANYONE’S??? The dude who makes these shoes _must_ be a demon.”

“Really? You want to hunt down Christian Louboutin?” Sam said, bored already.

“These toes, Sam!!! These are EVIL toes!”

\--

Sam walked in on Dean covering up a bruise on his right arm with foundation.

“What happened? You didn’t find the werewolf, did you?”

“No. Just a bunch of assholes started whistling at me while I was walking down the street. Yelling gross stuff at me.”

“And you couldn’t ignore them?”

Dean looked up. “I shouldn’t _have_ to ignore them.”

“Can’t argue with you there, I guess,” Sam said. “Are those dudes going to be okay?”

“Yeah. They’re human, dude, I didn’t overreact.”

“Just punched them a lot.”

“Exactly.”

“And why do you care about your bruise showing?” Sam asked just as Dean was finishing up his coverup.

“Big date tonight, Sammy,” Dean said with a grin. “Going to the tapas bar. Which unfortunately is not the same as a topless bar. But it should be good anyway.”

“You want me to go with in case those guys you beat on are still hanging around.”

“Yeah, I want my brother there clucking disapprovingly while I try to get laid.”

“Fine,” Sam said, rolling his eyes.

“Seriously, don’t cuntblock me again.”

“There’s no such word as cuntblock.”

“Sure there is.”

“The word ‘cockblock’ exists because ‘cock’ and ‘block’ rhyme. ‘Cuntblock’ doesn’t work,” Sam said.

“Fine,” Dean said, “Don’t cunt-shunt me.”

“Never say that again.”

“Whatever, Sammy. Don’t wait up.”

\--

“We _have_ to get one of those cheeseburgers, Sammy,” Dean had said. They were looking into some unusual attacks in a town that happened to have the Sweet Pepper Diner and Grill, famous for its double cheeseburger loaded with pepper jam, fried onions, bacon, deep fried mushrooms, and four slices of local cheese.

They walk in and Dean says, “Two.”

The owner gestures to the many empty booths and says, “Anywhere you want to sit, sweetheart.”

Dean scowls. “Thanks, buddy. But call me ‘sweetheart’ again and I’ll have you in a chokehold before you can finish the word.” 

Sam drags Dean to the nearest booth and gives him the look. The _Why does my brother always embarrass me?_ look.

Dean shrugs. “Hey, where does he get off calling someone he just met ‘sweetheart’? It’s like those dudes who see me making out with my girlfriend and think it’s like for their viewing pleasure. It’s just taking too many liberties, you know?”

Sam leans back and folds his arms and stares at his brother. His lifelong ‘sweetheart’-calling, lesbian-ogling brother.

“Fine,” Dean grumbles, “I’m a hypocrite. But I’m not like that any more.”

“Yeah, all it took was a complete transformation from a magical dragon. You are a model of personal growth.”

“Dick,” Dean mumbles.

“Jerk,” Sam responds

\--

“So.”

“Yeah?” Sam asked. Clearly, something was on Dean’s mind. Such as it was.

“So. You should probably stop calling me ‘he.’ Since I’m a woman now.”

“I haven’t called you ‘he’ in public in ages,” Sam said. 

“Earlier tonight,” Dean pointed out.

“On the phone with Bobby?” Sam asked, confused.

“Yeah.”

“But… Bobby knows we’re guys. What would be the point?”

“I just think you should call me ‘she.’”

“Why?” Sam said, impatiently. “We have women’s bodies. We’re not really women.”

Dean shrugged and didn’t answer.

But after a moment of staring at Dean’s impassive face, Sam realized that he and Dean might not feel the same way about their bodies.

“Okay,” Sam said. “I’ll call you ‘she’ from now on. And you can still call me ‘he’ if that’s cool.”

“Cool.”

“And… you know, if you ever want to talk about… anything you’re feeling, I’m totally willing to listen.”

Dean snorted. “Please. Just because I’m a woman, doesn’t mean I’m going to act like a total girl.”

\--

It was going well, considering. They had located the vamp nest and had just taken out the last vampire there, and most of the abducted vamp-food was still alive and bound. Dean had been especially quick, taking out four vamps with just a wire.

As they went to untie the victims, they received their thank you’s graciously. Until one guy said to Dean, “You’re totally a Buffy.”

Sam caught Dean’s fist right before it made contact, and Dean walked away to cool off. 

Later that night, Dean was still ranting about it. “Buffy is a _fictional_ character! And what, all blondes look the same??? You can’t just go around calling people Buffy!”

“If it makes you feel better, that same guy asked those vamps if they knew Damon and Stefan,” Sam said as he changed into sleepclothes and settled into his bed.

“Who?” Dean asked.

“Never mind. He just watches a lot of TV, Dean. And he’s obnoxious. Relax.”

Dean sighed and then paused to look in the mirror, flexing an arm muscle.

“Do you think I could take Buffy in a fight?” 

Sam sighed loudly. “Not a chance in hell. Now go to sleep, Dean.”


End file.
